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  • Writer's pictureDaisy

The Things People Say

From the moment you find out you’re expecting twins, people say dreadful, discouraging and sometimes downright hurtful things. “oh no!”, “how terrible!”, “you’re never going to sleep again!”

Take it from me, when you’re contemplating life-changing new arrivals, never mind handling the hormones, illness and variety of additional risks and complications associated with twin pregnancy, you don’t need anything but words of comfort, encouragement and offers of willing support.

Once your bundles of joy arrive, people you pass on the street feel the need to comment. There isn’t a day that goes by without someone saying to you “you’ve got your hands full!”, “are they twins?”, “double trouble!” or “I don’t know how you cope”. Or far worse “I’d rather you than me!” or “They’re cute, but I wouldn’t want them if you paid me!”.

Now parenting isn’t easy, even with one baby (or so I'm told... but few twin parents haven't thought that maybe, just maybe, it might be easy with one), and sometimes it really does feel like you’re “coping” with it, but a lot of the time, it feels like so much love you can’t imagine feeling happier. I sometimes wonder if there is a better feeling in the world than having two tiny humans, who you made yourself and who you adore more than anything, sleeping on you at once. No amount of exhaustion gets in the way of how utterly glorious it feels!

So, to all the mums-to-be out there: be prepared for the barrage of unwanted, unhelpful and occasionally heartless comments from others, but know that they haven’t, and probably never will have, the foggiest idea how absolutely wonderful it is to be the parent of twins. Build your village of friends and family who can support and encourage you, listen to you when you feel like you’re going out of your mind, and load the babies in a buggy and send you to bed for a nap when you need it the most.

And to all the twin mums out there: you are not alone. Tell people who say they wouldn’t want them that they are missing out. It’s not double the trouble, it’s double the joy. For all the highs and lows of parenthood, the highs of twin parenting are twice as high, and the lows are twice as low, but anyone who's ever built a rollercoaster will tell you: higher highs and lower lows make for one helluva ride!

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